some of the many people i treasure..



and now theres 4.. :)



crop circles in the cockpit.. sinking..feeling... spin me round again and rub my eyes.. this cant be happening.. when busy streets a mess with people..

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this song brings a huge wave of nostalgia.. heart sinking remembering that very moment..

the days of kallang theatre performance not long ago.. when ibrahim ran out during this song crying so badly.. me.. sitting two seats away.. i didnt realise his tears and his pain.. as he ran and amanda chased.. the rest followed and those close to him saw his hurt and his tears.. me and radhiya couldnt help but cry along..ive never felt that sadness so close to my heart.. the loss of the most important pillar in one's life is so depressing that u can never really get over it.. especially when it was sudden..

it was clearly an emotional day... a boy who lost his mum not too long ago having bought a ticket for her to see him perform that very day to realise she would not be there.. looking at that sinking empty seat pointed out by the very insensitive teacher(screw her).. his strength and his all was reduced to her convenient words of replacing her seat with another individual.. she deserves a bitchslap dun u tink..

as days past by.. recalling this incident one realises that one should never ever take for granted the people we love and treasure them as much as possible now before we lose them.. take every second as your last..

onlooking others who gladly spend their lives enjoying in the wrong way makes me wonder whether the thought of death ever crosses their minds.. the thought that the fateful day might just be tomorrow and whether they had tried to abolish all sins so as to go as pure as one can be.. the young of today seem to be too blinded to society and its gifts of life.. its temporary gifts.. ones that never follow you when u lie under 3 feet of soil..

the young enjoying too much forgetting the very essence of why we are sent to earth.. im not a narrow person but up till a certain age..one should learn to grow up with the consequences of life.. follow what you were brought up in ONLY and ONLY IF what was done was right morally ethically and religiously.. after a certain age.. one has their very own intellectual ability to know right from wrong.. all the blame is on one's self..

i know of people from broken homes and worst of worst background becoming people i respect in terms of religion and morality.. having the emotional and physical intelligence to survive in the society.. a society hypocritical of itself but in between the cracks lies many wonderful individuals who depict a good societal person..

when u enter the room the smell of antiseptic fills ur lungs.. u see people in different situations.. some hard and some even harder and u stop in ur tracks.. and u thank god u are fine.. all is well.. in that room.. u believe no matter how bad life might seem.. god gave you gifts in other ways that these people are not blessed with.. u realise that no matter how bad life can get.. there will always be ways to overcome them.. sit down, relax, pray and think it through in a clear mind and the answers will flow through somehow someday..

i know i sound so philosophical today.. but... i just feel this way..

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i believe getting through this semester had been hard for me.. juggling tuitions..commitments.. frens..lab reports.. lecture notes.. 10 different tests.. constantly praying for help from HIM has pulled me throught it happy and good.. bringing myself closer takes a lot of effort but the outcome is so wonderful that no human being could ever give sumtin as sacred as that to me..

but if it wasnt for him.. his guidance and support thru my tempers and stress.. his kind words and his huge gestures that i believe no one else can do for me as sincere as he did.. they say love knows no boundaries.. and u my dear underline that statement ever so well.. thank you for all of it and may god always bless you.. amin

losing contact with frens and being unable to attend fren's invitations makes me feel bad but life and school has made me so antisocial.. its hard trying to earn and trying to do very well in school.. and it gets disappointing when the bank remains low no matter how much effort you put in.. i told him maybe my duit tak berkat thats why it never stays.. but he says my duit always berkat because i keluarkan to help orang susah and its my hard earn money.. haizz.. insya'allah the low gets higher..


and this situation does not allow me to find time for any of my frens.. i feel so lost from them.. like my ever so warm radhiya hudy yusrina shabana irda huda ... my sweet nabilah farah nisha and salma.. my jc classmates i miss very much.. all of u.. the only one im still somehow close virtually to is salwa.. cos she always approaches me on msn.. and im glad for that.. if not i feel like ive lost all frens..

once my paper ended and i saw radhiya's msg.. i called her.. she didnt pick up.. and never called backk.. :(

maybe shes busy.. its ok.. but if u happen to come by here.. call me yeah.. exams are over for me too.. so lets have our long awaited date.. :)


going away for a month... listening to this song.. i think i will tear up.. i know i will miss you very very badly but i understand ure doing a good deed for your grandauntie.. and i know ur mom is excited about it.. i wish everything goes well there and insya'allah ill come there too along the holidays.. one day before u leave and tears are already swelling up but ill be strong.. becos i know no matter what u will always constantly contact me.. though there wun be you sending me off to medan.. but ur voice is more than enuff.. btw when i go.. MUST GO masjid india ok.. i wana buy many many many things! weeeeeeeeee.. :)


ill stop rambling now.. clean up my notes and place them in the cupboard for safekeeps and away from me these holidays.. install FIFA! hehe.. and watching series given by my lovely cousin hamudi.. hope ur fyp is going well.. :)