should have told me.. seemed like an ordinary day.. everything seemed to be ok..

a song placed at the right moment can make one cry.. id never forget the episode of without a trace it played on.. tears came rolling down.. the emotions never left.. watching again through youtube.. a drop formed..

the episode teaches one that making fun of another no matter what is never nice.. never.. everyone is human and everyone has feelings..

humans were given the gift of kindness,empathy, sweetness,helpfulness,sincerity and truthfulness.. yet many choose the curse of selfishness, jealousy, sacarsm,unwillingness and anger to live by..

yet we all know utopia is never possible.. there will be always be criminals and good people and the ordinary ones.. thats what makes life interesting isnt it?

doesn't it upset you when the few people you grew up loving, calling family, become people you grow to dislike understanding life and it biasness.. i swear if one could ask any of my aunties what im doing in university, none would know what course it was..

what touched my heart was when one of my auntie from my grandauntie, someone im not as close.. expressed her knowledge in the course im taking.. it shocked me but brought a nice sincere smile to my face.. one i have never gotten from any of my aunts i grew up respecting..


yeah i get it.. its something petty.. something not worth getting upset about.. trust me im not.. i dun waste my time about these.. but sumtimes these small details mean a lot.. and what saddens me is if i were to ask them about any of my other cousin's course.. they would know..

they decieve you.. there was a wall you had to find..

nobody's here.. no one's concern..

one day its clear.. and then you burn..

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

remembering past.. i was told before by a fren to never hold grudges.. but i can never bear to let the grudge go.. why? becos it was a simple lie.. a lie that involved the entire family.. a lie from her who told it to the two people that matter most to me.. making it seem like i was one big bitch in schl.. who was losing her way mixing with the wrong people.. as she lied i kept quiet..

i stared and my heart sank.. why would they trust me instead of her? i was young and she was older and they would choose her words over mine.. i knew.

all i wanted to do was say sorry.. i didnt do anything wrong but i didnt want to argue cos it would hurt them even more.. that night will never leave my mind.. the sadness i saw.. the lies i heard.. i just left it within me..

bringing tears to the two people i love so much.. even to my siblings.. never have i seen the young boy and girl who had been there with me all the time tear till that day.. i loved them very much and felt so disappointed with life..


it was like as if i got pregnant.. when it was a small thing.. blown out of proportion by her.. the her i will never look at the same again.. teaching her son tuition before.. i love them no biasness involved and will always.. but she is different.. she never said sorry and till now i wait..


as i went to schl the next morning.. my face was so dark and sad, no one dared to approach.. as recess came.. i bought food and left for class.. my frens were worried and found me in class and i told them most of what i could w/o ending up in tears.. later on hashim came over and asked me how i am and i didnt speak a word.. he said she was so clear in her own story that even with him saying anitin she made her own story in her mind.. the sincerity in his apology told me he was telling the truth..

as i gained back the trust of those ive lost.. they realise im not at all what she said.. slowly and eventually.. i proved my innocence with the help of god too..


yet.. the events within those few days will never be erased from my memory.. ive never and will never bring shame to my family.. yet she made it seem like i did.. may her words burn her inside one day for bringing those tears to the people i love..


these are the scars ill never show.. but will always remain..


always..never forgotten

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

she was an aunt working in my school who told them i was going round from one guy to the next.. a line my frens who know me will laugh at as i was the opposite.. but it was her words against mine.. one day.. your time will come.. one day.. what goes around comes around..

leaving that aside.. moving on to a lighter nicer note


medan trip was nice.. not as great as padang but decent enuff as the bus was a fun filled great bunch of people..haha.. better 100 times than terengganu..haha..

pictures


some here some there




before the flight.. terminal 1




as a big group outside istana maimun




the three teens??




princess 1





princess 2




she insisted on the flashh





breakfastt





ferry trip to pulau samosir





at one of the scenery stops we had





active mount sibayak behind us





congrats on ur results my dear





bored otw to dinner




after a great dinner..





black and white..




crocodile farm!






first one up riding the crocodile





thats as far as how close ill get..heh






all such supporting men.. and the funniest thing was when one of the man said to my father
"kalau nampak kat geylang ke apa TEGUR TAU!".. awwww :)






the youngsters present.. banyak ehh..




pairs..



thats all then.. twilight tomorrow!

PS: i miss you so much.. 11 more days and counting.. :)